Begining--Again

It has been such a long time since I've written in my BLOG. There has been so much going through my mind the past month, specifically the last 3 weeks. I found out then that Jeff is moving away, and such a long ways away. 13 hour drive, and a fast drive at that. There have been so many emotions going through my head over that. I've been under such stress and anxiety over it, I do wish them good luck and hope they achieve all that they wish to achieve, but then there will probably be no contact with each other again, more than likely for good this time. His other 2 times he's moved away, there were no contact at all, so that is what bothers me the most about this move. So many things we've missed out of each other's lives, it's hard to fathom that we will not be together to celebrate or just hang out as we have over these past 6 or 7 years. It was so good having him back in my life, in our lives, all over again. I just can't say goodbye to him, but I know I must face the fact that he will be gone forever and not be a couple blocks away any longer.

I've kinda put everyone on the back burner as I try to work these feelings out. I've only let 1 person in to help me try to work out these feelings I have. For that I wouldn't of even been able to work through what I've felt. What I'm continuously going to be feeling. She is a constant supporter of me. She supports me in everything I do, and decide. She has made these past several months more bearable. She has given me such a lift, I feel I can achieve anything I set my mind to.

All my kids have started school this week. They have all grown up way to fast, but then again, I keep saying they haven't grown up fast enough. I look forward to all my kids growing up and leaving the nest, begining their own lives. I am so proud of each of my kids. Mindee has done so good this past year with her schooling and work and able to survive in the midst of some horrific experiences, experiences she shouldn't have to deal with. Elijah is growing more each day into the man he is destined to become. He has grown leaps and bounds, going through those grown up things that boys do. Amanda, she has become such a doll. She loves everyone and everything. She has developed her own personality and is growing into such a beautiful adolescent girl. Before to much longer, she will be going on dates and I'll have to have the talk with all the boys she goes out with. Shelley, our Shelley belly, it's fun just sitting back and watching her grow. She is so special to everyone she meets and loves everyone unconditionally. Little Randall bandall, he's turned 8 and will be baptized shortly, got into cub scouts and is so excited about what life has to offer. He is going to be in his first rain gutter regata this week and loves even the thought of going and spending time with everything it has to offer.