Thursday, July 9, 2009

Post Series -- Day 9

Well I ended the series just shy of my goal. My final weigh in was 59.6 lbs. I felt so good, I was very excited and could tell a difference all around. Clothes are fitting loose, majority of the pain is gone, energy has increased. Now the worry and hard part is coming.

I have noticed alot of different things that have occurred with my body in this transformation. It seems I don't need the CPAP as much. If I fall asleep and take a nap without the machine on, I feel that I have rested semi normal and didn't snore, I wake up feeling refreshed. That alone, is a very good thing. I feel I can sleep for a short time and not worry about not waking up. CPAP is used to keep the airway open during sleep. So that is a good thing. I feel I can turn it down and still be able to get a refreshing sleep. Plus the new mattress my mother got me, new Serta pillowtop, helps as well. And as long as I don't sleep with several pillows under my head, my airway stays open alot easier.

My belts have all gone through a transition as well. I went from the 4th hole on my belts to having to make a new hole in each of my belts. I'm going to keep adding holes to 1 of them, and keep as a daily wearer and in a year I should be able to wrap the whole belt around myself twice. I am able to tuck in my shirts now and not feel that the shirts are stretched to unbelief.

My blood sugars have been very steady. I'm going to have to make a doctor appt w/ my doctor and see if I need to keep taking all the medications he has me on. It would be so nice to be able to get off the medications and the CPAP machine. My face sucker as everyone in the family calls it. There are some medications I'm sure I'll have to keep up on, my Vitamin D for my joint health, my B12 for heart health and my allergy pills.

I do have some disturbing news tho, I have gained about 7 lbs from when I was on the shots. I kinda haven't followed the diet like I should be. It goes on faster than when it goes off. It has scared me. I can't eat as much as I have been. I have cheated a lot and now have the know how of what I can do. I'm so scared of gaining my weight back. I have set a goal of losing 20 more lbs before I go back, weight of 380, which because of my weight gain, is now 27 lbs I have to lose. I will have to find some way to keep myself full so I don't want to keep eating. I have found some Benifiber packages that can be put in something liquid w/ 3 grams of fiber in it. I'm going to try to use them to keep me feeling full. Also, will probably get Alli for appetite suppression. Plus I'm going to have to hit the gym harder than I have been. But it is so hard going by myself and get the gumption to go. Once I'm there I do my 20 to 30 mins on the treadmill without any problems, it's just getting there that is the problem.

Some other bad news, my cousin Joann McCoy has passed away. It is good hearing that her suffering is gone. Her pain is alleviated. But sad to hear that she is not going to be around anymore. She was a very special lady. She will be missed at the yearly family reunions. But mom and I was able to pay her a good visit not to long ago and was able to have a fun time with her. Which was a special time for us both.

I spent the 4th of July at work. All the fireworks calls were a pain in the rear end. It happens every year. It's one thing that can be guaranteed. I missed going to a concert with my family, I hear they had a fun time, but I was very upset that I wasn't able to attend. I had planned on attending and was going to have a big BBQ for everyone in my family then go over to the concert, but I didn't project my schedule out far enough and ended up having to work. I could not find anyone to trade me, even though I have covered for others, no one seems to be able to pay me back. It was sort of a shock, oh well, the past is the past.

I am happy to say, Heather was accepted into the Western Governors University School of Teaching. She has begun the process of her becoming a Special Education Teacher. It was long overdue. She has been working for Deseret Industries for the past 2 years and will have to leave there and begin the next step in her life. I'm hoping she can get into the school work and get it done fairly quick. I have agreed to let her stay home and use the time she would of spent working a job, doing her homework and achieving her degree. I'm really hoping it will not take her long. Money will be tight, especially now that we are paying more for rent and our bills have gone up. But we should be able to squeak by with what I'm making. We will have money saved up which will help, and "extra money" from her school loans and grants that will give us some breathing room. Once she can get her Special Ed certification she will be able to write her own "ticket". She can walk into any school district in this state and be able to walk out with a position. Plus I have found information on grants and loan forgiveness programs if she teaches in the rural part of the state for 4 years, she can get even more money to help with college expenses.

I have as well begun the process of going back to school. Mine is going to be a little harder to get into. I'm going to be going to WGU as well, but going for my teaching certificate for a science teacher. Because I have withdrawn in the past and looking at re-enrolling, I have a few more steps that I have to go through to gain re-admittance into the school. And have changed majors. But I have begun the process and hope to keep it up. Although it is not what I would care to do as a career, with my current work schedule it will give me something to shoot for in life. Something I can be proud of "when I grow up". I have always wanted to become a music teacher, but I figure get the education and the certification as a teacher then after my "teaching commitment" I can look at getting back into music and become a music teacher, which was my goal when I graduated high school.

Next week on the 21st is my birthday. 37 years old. Boy I am getting old. I have had the chance lately to look back at my life. I have had some very good opportunities in life. I have traveled. I have played my music for thousands of people, maybe hundreds of thousands. I have loved my life for the most part, I married my high school sweetheart. Have 6 wonderful kids, the joy of my life. I have had parents that were able to provide for me growing up and have given me chances that most kids were not able to do. I appreciate all that they have given me and the love and support they continue to give me. Memories and traditions that I've carried into my family. Traditions that mean alot to my children. They have provided me a stable and enjoyable life. I have grown into who I am because of my parents and my other family members, because I have a close family, both immediate and extended.

Next week is also one of my best friend's birthdays as well. My "bestie" as she calls it. Joey is a couple years behind me and have missed her friendship and support for 18 years, since we graduated high school. I never knew her birthday was so close to mine, but find it great to have such a close friend have a birthday almost right next to mine. Her birthday is on the 23rd. Happy birthday and I am glad we have found each other again. I thank you for all you for all you have done for me. Without you I am not sure I would of been able to make it through my new life process. We both have a goal and have exactly 1 year until we are both to reach our goals. The 5 mile run in Richfield. It will be a long road, but I hope one that will come quickly. I promise here, like I have promised you, I will be there running side by side with you.

This is one of my favorite songs by the famous group Metallica. It means so much to me and I thought I could put it here and dedicate to one that means so much to me. The song is called "Nothing Else Matters".

So close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say

trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
no nothing else matters

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